Smartphones and anxiety in kids: What parents need to know now

You don’t have to dig too deeply to find headlines about the connection between smartphones and increased anxiety in kids. But these headlines don’t help parents.

“This fear-based and guilt-inducing approach paralyzes parents more than it activates them,” says Dr. Michael Rich, Director and Founder of the Digital Wellness Lab at Boston Children’s Hospital and author of “The Mediatrician’s Guide: A Joyful Approach to Raising Healthy, Smart, Kind Kids in a Screen-Saturated World.” “It’s telling parents that they’ve already failed their kids while offering no real solutions.”

Parents aren’t failing, according to Dr. Rich and Bea Moise, a cognitive specialist, parent coach and author of “Neurodiversity and Technology: Neuroscience-led strategies for parents.” Today’s parents are just navigating a system that keeps shifting, which makes it difficult to know what to do next with anxiety in kids.

Here, Moise and Dr. Rich share tips to help parents rise above common pressure points and succeed in today’s digital age.

Pressure point: Will a smartphone make my kid anxious?

Smartphones often get blamed for anxiety in kids, but the relationship is more complex.

“It’s important for parents to keep in mind that correlation doesn’t mean causation,” says Moise. “Your child can have a healthy relationship with tech, but it needs to be monitored at an age-appropriate level, and they need to know how to use it appropriately.”

To start, focus on these actions:

• Prioritize sleep. Turn off devices at least an hour before bedtime.
• Talk about what’s happening inside group chats and online communities.
• Model tech breaks. Show them what it’s like to unplug.

Pressure point: What if I give them a smartphone too soon—or too late?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule on this one.

“Not all 14-year-olds are alike, and not all 16-year-olds are alike,” Dr. Rich says. “Readiness is more about how they’re using these tools than about the tools themselves, or the age they are when they start using them.”

Instead of asking yourself if they’re old enough, ask:

• Can they handle a group chat without spiraling?
• Are they comfortable coming to you when something online feels weird?
• Do they understand that nothing on the internet is really private?

Pressure point: Are smartphones rewiring my kid’s brain?

Yes—but not always in the way you think.

Kids’ brains are naturally wired to adapt, thanks to neuroplasticity. Since neuroplasticity is at its peak during childhood and early adolescence, Moise says that structure and intention can help parents use this time to set their teens up for balance.

“If there’s a household rule of no tech before noon, your child’s brain will wire itself to know that they don’t pick up a phone first thing after waking up,” she says. “We wire the brain … to be adaptable to life rather than … adaptable to tech.”

How to help wire their brains for balance:

• Set rhythms not just rules, like no screens in the first or last hour of the day.
• Talk about the “why” behind any screen limits.
• Be clear about parental controls and why they help support independence.

Pressure point: Is screen time replacing playtime?

Childhood has changed, but that doesn’t mean creativity is gone.

Moise points out that kids are still imaginative, just in different mediums. They may not build blanket forts, but they’re designing 3D worlds in games like Roblox. Producing music using tools like GarageBand. Telling stories through video, like YouTube edits.

Still, you need to help them find balance between what Moise calls 2D (digital) and 3D (hands-on) creativity.

Try this:

• Watch an online video tutorial together and then try it offline—like drawing, cooking or origami.
• Ask your kid to teach you something they learned from a tutorial.
• Support 3D hobbies they can document or build on with tech. For example, painting a mural and filming a time-lapse of the process, making a highlight reel of skateboard tricks, making jewelry and setting up a shop on a private Instagram account.

Pressure point: Kids will always find a way around the content blocks and filters.

This mindset can make parents feel powerless.

Moise recommends taking time—whether it’s one week, six months or a whole year—to learn the tech before handing it over.

Try this:

• Use parental controls like Verizon Family Plus, which alerts you if your child tries to change or remove restrictions.
• Take on the role of a tech mentor, guiding instead of controlling.

Yes, anxiety in kids can be overwhelming. But your kid doesn’t need perfect tech habits. They need you to be consistent—even when it’s awkward, even when it’s not working and even when you’re not sure it matters. You don’t need to know everything about tech. You just need to stay curious and stay in the conversation.

You’re there for them with Verizon Family. Verizon’s there for you—with a 3-year price lock.*

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