You just got a parental control notification. What should you do next?

If you use parental controls, it can be alarming to get a notification that your child encountered inappropriate content. But moments like these aren’t just warnings—they’re a chance to build trust with your kids.

Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that kids build safer online habits when parents:

• set clear expectations
• talk openly about online experiences
• help their kids process what they encounter

To understand what this looks like in real life, we spoke with digital-parenting expert Elizabeth Milovidov and her son, Maximilian, an 18-year-old youth advocate for online safety.

Here’s what they say parents can do after receiving a parental control alert.

Step 1: Stay calm and talk soon.

When a notification pops up, panic is a normal reaction, but Elizabeth stresses the importance of staying calm.

“Whatever the content is—whether it’s violent, sexual or something else—the first step for parents is to respond to that parental control notification calmly and proactively,” she says.

Strong reactions, like shutting down all devices, can make kids hesitant to come forward in the future. Once you’re calm, start the conversation—but do it sooner rather than later.

“Earlier is better, because [the content] will still be fresh in their mind,” says Maximilian.

Try this: “I saw this alert pop up. Can we talk about what happened?”

Step 2: Ask questions to get more context.

A parental control alert doesn’t always mean intentional searching. Kids may have:

• accidentally selected a pop-up
• followed a misleading link
• encountered the content through an algorithm

Maximilian emphasizes the need to understand what happened before making assumptions.

“Make sure they feel heard and that you get the full picture before judging or punishing,” he says.

If it was intentional, explore the why: curiosity, peer pressure, or confusion about something they saw.

Elizabeth recommends asking these open-ended questions:

• What did you encounter?
• How did you find it?
• How did it make you feel?

“This helps you understand whether they stumbled upon the content accidentally or intentionally, which are two very different conversations,” she says.

Step 3: Reassure them and teach through the moment.

Kids often feel embarrassed, ashamed, or scared encountering inappropriate or violent content. Look for cues like avoiding eye contact, hesitation in answering questions or appearing anxious or withdrawn.

Start with the calm.

“Offer reassurance by saying, ‘Let’s figure this out together,’” Elizabeth says.

This is also the moment to gently restate family expectations around media, privacy, or online behavior—without shaming.

Step 4: Decide on next steps based on what you learned.

What you do next depends on the situation.

• If they clicked an ad, teach them warning signs and how to avoid them.
• If it was curiosity, talk about safer ways to learn and ask questions.
• If it’s a repeated pattern, adjust settings and revisit expectations.

For example, “If they accessed content by clicking on an ad, this is a chance to teach them about the risks of pop-ups and how to avoid them,” says Elizabeth.

The goal is to empower your kids to navigate the internet safely. “You want to guide them to make better choices and feel confident about staying safe online.”

Once you understand what triggered the parental control alert and have had a conversation with your child, you can also adjust parental control settings if needed and work on building additional digital literacy skills.

Tools in the Verizon Family Plus app can help.

On the Verizon Family Plus app, consider updating the following—and make sure the companion app is paired to your phone:

• Toggle content filters to block specific categories of information
• Set screen-time limits, such as no Wi-Fi or data access after 9 PM
• Toggle on Safe Search and ad blockers, which you can turn on to help prevent errant selections

Step 5: Follow up again later.

Check-ins matter. Research from a study of 1,000 parents found that regular family meals improve communication and strengthen relationships with teens. This can make dinnertime an ideal time to discuss digital safety.

“Mealtimes can be good opportunities because kids are already disconnected from their devices,” says Maximilian.

Elizabeth also points out that regular conversations reinforce good habits. She suggests checking in over the next few weeks to answer any questions.

With these tips, parents can continue to be proactive digital guides instead of simply reacting to alerts. As Elizabeth points out, “Every conversation about tech can be a teaching moment.”

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