How kids handle toxicity in online gaming—and what parents can do

Many gamers experience bullying and harassment while playing online, but a study by media research firm Magid examines the direct effects of bullying and harassment on gamers ages 10 – 18, providing insight on how they respond to toxic behavior. We spoke with Matt Bertz, Senior Vice President of Games at Magid, about how kids are getting around toxicity in online gaming and strategies they—and parents—can use to make online gaming a safer space.

What does the data say about toxic online gaming behavior?

It’s worth noting that most kids have good gaming experiences overall. More than 70% of all kids in the study view gaming positively. Despite this, online gaming has exposed many kids to toxicity, like the aggressive, competitive language that players sometimes use during games. In the same way people can use aggressive language on social media, players can make aggressive, condescending comments during gameplay.

Nearly a quarter of young gamers in Magid’s study say they encounter some form of toxic behavior most of the time they play. And data from Pew Research Center found that 80% of teens think harassment in online gaming is a problem.

“Many online spaces are inherently toxic, but that’s a culture problem—not exclusively a gaming problem,” Bertz says. “Given the pervasiveness of the issue, game developers are taking action, and there are many tools players can use to report or avoid bad actors.”

How does toxicity in online gaming affect kids’ mental health?

Toxicity in gaming can contribute to anxiety for kids, especially for younger gamers. More than 40% of kids ages 10 – 15 are worried about sportsmanship, being harassed or bullied when gaming. Parents are even more worried—60% are concerned about their kids being bullied while gaming.

Despite this anxiety, the appeal of online gaming remains strong for kids. They still enjoy games despite certain players’ behaviors, and they experience an overriding fear of missing out if their friends are still playing the game. As a result, they feel confident that they can handle any potential bullying.

What strategies do kids use to avoid harassment in online gaming?

1. Hitting pause. Kids are very resilient when it comes to playing their favorite games—despite the toxicity they may have encountered. They most commonly respond to toxicity in online gaming with screen time limits. “Toxic behavior may turn a player off from a particular game, but we haven’t noted many instances of it cooling their interest in it entirely,” Bertz says.

2. Muting and reporting. For others, they’ll simply mute, block or report the toxic players. “Games afford many different types of experiences,” Bertz says, “many of which don’t necessarily include interactions with other players.”

3. Finding the right squad. Kids also frequently play within their own online gaming groups. Sometimes, these groups are kids who know each other from the neighborhood or school. But kids will often find other groups online where they feel like they can fit in. Games like Apex Legends and Fortnite feature social tools that help kids find other like-minded players. “So they can have the kind of experience they’re wanting, whether it’s a casual game that prioritizes fun or an ultra-competitive match where performance matters,” Bertz says.

4. Exploring online gaming options. Sometimes, kids may switch games altogether to get away from toxic behavior. But they can also use platforms like Discord, where they have more control over who they interact with. “When you’re in a [group chat] with friends, it can help you avoid getting exposed to verbal assaults,” Bertz says.

How can parents make gaming safer?

Knowing which online games your kids are playing—and familiarizing yourself with some of the games’ community safety features—is a good place to start. Beyond that, to take a few examples, PlayStation, Xbox and Nintendo consoles all have parental control features in online gaming that can help you manage your child’s gaming experience. These include time restrictions, messaging blockers and tools for reporting abuse.

These control features are helping parents feel safer about letting their kids play games, according to the Magid study. More than 80% of parents feel confident that they’re in control of their kids’ gaming experience.

“Take the time to set up the parameters you want in place and talk with your kids about their online experiences. And take note of how they’re interacting with others online,” Bertz says. “Parenting is the first line of defense when it comes to addressing bad behavior, and that applies to online spaces as well.”

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